Nurse: Doctor, the patient doesn’t look so good.
Dr. Hope: That’s
not a problem. I am Dr. Hope and I am
here to change things!
Nurse: So you’ve
treated many patients like Joe before?
Dr. Hope: Actually Joe is the first patient I’ve ever
dealt with, but how difficult can it be? In addition, I did sleep in a big,
white, mansion last night.
Joe: Help me, Dr. Hope
Dr. Hope: The
problem is that you are just laying there, Joe.
We need to get you up off the bed and get you stimulated! Now get over here and grab this shovel and
look as if you are about to dig a hole.
Joe: How is this going to help?
Dr. Hope: If
people see you digging holes, then they will start digging holes and then they
will load and dump dirt all over the place and you will get better. That is my aspiration!
Joe: I don’t think you know your aspiration from a hole
in the ground, but I will give it a try.
Dr. Hope: See, it’s good being stimulated. Isn’t it?
Joe: I still don’t feel so good. I think I better lie
back down. Oh no.
Nurse: The patient has just dumped a load in his britches.
What should I do now?
Dr. Hope: Change!
Nurse: Dr. Hope, your patient isn’t getting better.
Dr. Hope: Oh no, he’s not my patient; he is Dr. Bushwack’s
patient. And it’s DR. Bushwack’s fault that Joe’s not getting any better. Dr. Bushwack was a terrible doctor and the
failure of any of my actions will be and will ever continue to be, Dr. Bushwack’s
fault.
Joe: Help me Dr. Hope.
Dr. Hope: What you
need to do now Joe is to go get your clunker of a car, drive it to the car
dealership and trade it in for a brand-new.
Joe: But my car
isn’t a clunker and I don’t have the money for a new one. I don’t think this is
going to work.
Dr. Hope: No problem Joe, here’s a stack of cash to help buy
the new car. When people see everybody buying cars, this will motivate them to
buy more stuff. And when they buy more stuff, you are going to start to feel
great.
Joe: Okay I bought
the car and that was fun, but I don’t feel so good now. Oh no.
Nurse: Joe just cashed some clunkers in his shorts. What should I do?
Dr. Hope: Change!
Nurse: Your patient, I mean Dr. Bushwack’s patient, still
looks very weak. What now doctor?
Dr. Hope: Joe, get up over here and hold this solar panel.
Joe: Why?
Dr. Hope: It will
show people that you are working in a green job. Green jobs are great because they put people
to work and stop global warming.
Joe: Okay, I’ll
hold this thing, but you do realize it’s cloudy today and this thing isn’t
going to provide much energy.
Dr. Hope: Nurse, shine some lights on Joe so it looks
like it’s sunny.
Joe: This seems a
bit like an artificial stimulus.
Dr. Hope: Just keep smiling and go green Joe. Here’s another truckload of greenbacks to
create even more green jobs.
Joe: I still not feeling so hot. Oh no.
Nurse: Your patient, I mean the patient, has just created
some global warming in his pants and it looks like he’s gone green! What now?
Dr. Hope: Change!
After all his actions failed to improve the health of the
patient, Dr. Hope stopped trying to stimulate the patient. Joe, now with rest
and the proper medication, began to heal naturally. He started to feel better on his own, his
recovery had begun. He got up from his bed
and started to slowly move forward.
Joe: I’m feeling better
now. It’s time for me go.
Dr. Hope: Look! My patient is healed! My recovery plan
worked!
Joe: Whatever. I think I’ll just be moving along now.
Dr. Hope: Let me give my patient a big hug.
Joe: Please keep your *$!% hands off of me!
And at this Joe started moving ahead even faster.
Dr. Hope: Look at him go! I’m an excellent doctor after
all!